tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2594968999389435982024-03-13T23:44:03.721-04:00Mama C and the BoysOne Single Mother's Journal of a transracial life made all the better through adoption, birth, and chaos with consistencyMama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.comBlogger154125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-83519979148724230472010-01-10T11:28:00.005-05:002010-01-18T13:00:36.334-05:00Our New Blog Address: Unveiled.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRncN7S9PTwQe5olUHROiyyUKfdsLCwAtTtGUDgP6wVoRQQbKdTfVIzolZaWzRNyp8NQ1QflScXGmw2XfOBtOsFGdrtt94VB3gLmpCChb00sTeNT6TtjNbFApXpcgdoiy7QWydT_pK2Q4/s1600-h/IMG_3511.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRncN7S9PTwQe5olUHROiyyUKfdsLCwAtTtGUDgP6wVoRQQbKdTfVIzolZaWzRNyp8NQ1QflScXGmw2XfOBtOsFGdrtt94VB3gLmpCChb00sTeNT6TtjNbFApXpcgdoiy7QWydT_pK2Q4/s400/IMG_3511.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425149095987663458" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">MamaCandtheBoys Second Edition.<br />Leaping to our new home.<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Enter (click) </span><a style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" href="http://mamacandtheboys.com/">here</a><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">.</span><br /><br />A big request to those of you who have been so generous as to include me on your<br />blogroll-can you please update to this address?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">http://mamacandtheboys.com</span><br /></div>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-23621125172128435722010-01-09T19:16:00.003-05:002010-01-09T19:59:30.971-05:00A Retrospective<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XBjPeYIfv2xcAbsMD4XiXLaF_NhvIkkPbZdOUwhQdYVD4BYXpbNav3IVCfV0Nl9AFiV0Z4S977uvg90GGjU0CD01fAP0_2dS73SDNBKxeZ8BzqQbC_yLcC3Pdx1rTQRPr_FvZXR1xUk/s1600-h/IMG_3541.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_XBjPeYIfv2xcAbsMD4XiXLaF_NhvIkkPbZdOUwhQdYVD4BYXpbNav3IVCfV0Nl9AFiV0Z4S977uvg90GGjU0CD01fAP0_2dS73SDNBKxeZ8BzqQbC_yLcC3Pdx1rTQRPr_FvZXR1xUk/s400/IMG_3541.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424898560568348914" border="0" /></a>Impossible to pick my favorites.<br />Good, the bad and the ugly?<br />(Behavior or parenting or both?)<br /><br />Besides, that is why I am writing <span style="font-style: italic;">the book. </span>So you don't have to scroll backwards in time to relive all your favorite Mama C mishaps.<br /><br />This blog is my co-parent.<br />My witness.<br />My confessor.<br />My ally.<br /><br />Building an audience has been like saying your are going to have a reunion and having new members of your extended family calling everyday to say; I'm there.<br /><br />I'll repost this post at the new home, to build my roots there.<br /><br />I spent the day getting a crash course in html, font kits, cascading style sheets (makes it sound so pretty) and patience thanks to my brother. He is also the one who taught me how to drive stick shift twenty-five years ago. This was easier on both of us. Chain Bridge Road up hill at rush hour in the rain in Washington, D.C. The man personifies patience.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mama C and the Boys First Edition-Posts Of Note</span><br /><br />1. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2008/02/buy-paper-plates.html">Buy Paper Plates</a>-the essay that started it all. Action in the form of flying slippers and my perceived not so eventual demise. One mom, two kids. Oh dear. (First published in SMC quarterly, effectively launching my professional writing career.)<br /><br />2. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/03/for-posteritys-sake.html">For Posterity's Sake</a>- I interview Sam. He tells you all you really need to know.<br /><br />3. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/04/living-with-18-year-old.html">Living with an 18 year old</a>. I decide to pull some from one daycare and back into another because <span style="font-style: italic;">he</span> insisted. Blog as co-parent at end of day. Best part-listening to him turned out to be the right choice.<br /><br />4. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/04/divine.html">Divine.</a> Convertible and sun glasses. Check it.<br /><br />5. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/04/hes-got-whole-world.html">He's Got the Whole World</a>. The rewards of listening to Sam (for those of you who like happy endings!)<br /><br />6. <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/07/ghost-story.html">Ghost Story.</a> On birth parent's real and imagined. One of my favorites.<br /><br />7-8-9. Rage and adoption and other light observations: <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/08/reminded.html">Open Fist</a> and <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/09/donuts-for-dinner-or-youre-not-my-real.html">You are not my real mom</a> take one and<a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/12/you-are-not-my-real-mom-take-two.html"> two</a>.<br /><br />10. On a lighter side--some <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/11/gobble-never-looked-so-good.html">singing turkeys </a>to close with.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-21473099807258344532010-01-08T18:55:00.005-05:002010-01-08T19:15:35.326-05:00Packing it up.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidzWOe0Lk9dCoSmMnHrfT30-_BxiSS5yxngU-ojssoHTD6hLcYulieomvU0AsWhZHIO0zI5USc_7410xA24kcq0SEBSOXzc2zchD_5hwFbUF5h709EslQV0SmeOMvpOI6qOnf3VS5VXxo/s1600-h/old-style-suitcase.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidzWOe0Lk9dCoSmMnHrfT30-_BxiSS5yxngU-ojssoHTD6hLcYulieomvU0AsWhZHIO0zI5USc_7410xA24kcq0SEBSOXzc2zchD_5hwFbUF5h709EslQV0SmeOMvpOI6qOnf3VS5VXxo/s400/old-style-suitcase.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424524506735928642" border="0" /></a><br />Official unveiling of the new Mama C and the Boys home this Sunday.<br /><br />A fare-the-well blogspot, <span style="font-style: italic;">you've seen us at our best</span> list of my favorite posts from the last two years to be posted shortly.<br /><br />Sam is busy preparing the dance floor in the new virtual playroom.<br /><br />I have been honored this week with being featured on the blog of the aforementioned ultimate in adoption resources<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/12/adoption-mosaic-model-for-all.html">Adoption Mosaic</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">,</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span>as a blog not to be missed. (See their shout out <a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://blog.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=477">here.</a>) You can also reread my now signature piece, <span style="font-style: italic;">Black Enough</span>, featured as the poem of the week on the literary blog devoted to women writers of color-<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);" href="http://coloronline.blogspot.com/2010/01/poetry-friday-black-enough.html">Color Online</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span>today. Huge appreciation and gratitude to both of these sites for their ongoing recognition, encouragement, and support of my voice and work.<br /><br />I have been drafted for the post dinner soccer game between the polar bears and the tigers. Face painting Friday at school and Uncle's fabulous Friday Night rice and beans and frog gut guacamole has us all wound up!Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-45814649444023729002010-01-08T06:19:00.004-05:002010-01-08T06:35:59.524-05:00Le Jour de Roi et des dot coms!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-IHlPrcmskYLmdOduqTFjbUaQv6OhYchr9-KWHrey7C4G0H59DN7zpYhwF6r91_BNkPDMhnEaLDaf9gksEX6xtczQgKS5MYV9X6BBoJcnN-j5faie3JciRBY2-A2Fb3R0UEyqnx8b2M/s1600-h/IMG_3480.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 358px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj-IHlPrcmskYLmdOduqTFjbUaQv6OhYchr9-KWHrey7C4G0H59DN7zpYhwF6r91_BNkPDMhnEaLDaf9gksEX6xtczQgKS5MYV9X6BBoJcnN-j5faie3JciRBY2-A2Fb3R0UEyqnx8b2M/s400/IMG_3480.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424327164243085842" border="0" /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Islanders celebrating Le Jour De Roi.<br />Haiti on the left, Guadeloupe on the right.<br />E by way of her parents, me by way of my mother and maternal grandparents<br />claim our Jour de Roi-ness<br /><br />The hats we used last year only fit <span style="font-style: italic;">our</span> heads.<br />Sammy's rested at an angle, while Marcel's looked<br />more like a bracelet.<br /><br />Uncle started from scratch.<br /><br />Quiche Lorraine (also know as cheesy-pie for those<br />who would prefer to only eat cheese + pie)<br />and Eddie's Galllette des Roi.<br /><br />King for the day?<br />We shared the title of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Gift<span style="font-weight: bold;">er</span> of the Magi<span style="font-weight: bold;">c</span></span><br />as we toasted a new blogdom about to be unveiled<br />with her design and help.<br /><br />The song of the night;<span style="font-style: italic;"> Mama's got a brand new Dot Com!</span><br /><br />Official unveilling on Sunday.<br />Sneak previews for our loyal readers <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.com/">here</a>.<br /></div>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-49616387140233426882010-01-06T21:21:00.007-05:002010-01-06T21:56:30.328-05:00Mama C's Manuscript, Marcel's Desert and Honeysmoke<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjk3ab-Hn8yXiAQn31OPV2lF_KP9F2RoCM_cWlH0KBDDRtEdcP9pSzOZ95yfsfHRnwTvVSsntEn0XoeI3cAHgVU_A6SKw_nwRXg7Fh_2nSRU8wg_NPkUAnE-ubf-VSDd6NO0gqeJRKJyM/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 116px; height: 87px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjk3ab-Hn8yXiAQn31OPV2lF_KP9F2RoCM_cWlH0KBDDRtEdcP9pSzOZ95yfsfHRnwTvVSsntEn0XoeI3cAHgVU_A6SKw_nwRXg7Fh_2nSRU8wg_NPkUAnE-ubf-VSDd6NO0gqeJRKJyM/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423817537390626770" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Today I received a slick, 168 page, indexed and bound copy of my manuscript. </span> <span style="font-family:arial;">Well, a draft of it. I ordered this blog from inception to my <a href="http://mamacandtheboys.blogspot.com/2009/12/unpaired-and-prepared.html">Solstice post</a> through</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">the blog2book arm of</span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://blog2print.sharedbook.com/blogworld/printmyblog/index.html"> Sharedbooks</a><span style="font-family:arial;">. I paid over $60.00 clams, and it was well worth every one.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">They lay it out in a very satisfying way, and include almost all the images (no rhyme or reason</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">as to why a few were omitted). It looks like a book, smells like a book, and Sam just about</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> bust a gut seeing it on the counter; "Mom your book is <span style="font-style: italic;">published</span> already?"<br /><br />How much do I love the fact that Sam knows the word published, and attaches it to me so freely?<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I explained to him that it is a draft of the book that will be coming eventually.<br /><br />"When? By my next birthday?" he asked.<br /><br />So here it is: the beginning of <span style="font-weight: bold;">the story of how Mama C becomes a published memoirist too</span>. I am going to blog about the stages of turning my blog into a book. O</span><span style="font-family:arial;">f what I add, what I take out. Of how I write my proposal, and how I decide who to send it to. I'll attach rejection letters, and words of praise. I will chronicle the process here, so that I can document how it came to pass, and what I learned from the process so others can benefit, contribute, caution and support the odyssey. In my n</span><span style="font-family:arial;">ew blog I've already started a category called Mama C the Book to organize the trip there. I thought putting it out here to you, my faithfuls would hold me to it even more than my own thrill at the prospect has thus far.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:arial;">+++</span><br /></div><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />My review of Mike Tauber and Pamela's Singh's <span style="font-style: italic;">Blended Nation </span>is enjoying a new home on the blog <a href="http://www.honeysmoke.com/archives/2683">Honeysmoke</a> as of this evening. I encourage you to check out her blog, as it has been a source of real inspiration to me of late, for content and format alike.<br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br />+++<br /></div><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpgOam4e7NwLYIyyl0FPg2_ROzyD62VSPAdls3BH2m08TWMix_ShIMYO4OI8_m5hu0qSGXYV8PKs2GhRUTWLhGixyFM_0U1YVVSdXRP6VMVpj5hcfothXqQ7R4l9t27ebQu0ET8QGU2A/s1600-h/images-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 142px; height: 91px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfpgOam4e7NwLYIyyl0FPg2_ROzyD62VSPAdls3BH2m08TWMix_ShIMYO4OI8_m5hu0qSGXYV8PKs2GhRUTWLhGixyFM_0U1YVVSdXRP6VMVpj5hcfothXqQ7R4l9t27ebQu0ET8QGU2A/s400/images-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423822592814749426" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;">Dry.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Completely.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Marcel.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">All day.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">While wearing <span style="font-style: italic;">big boy</span> pants!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">(As in underwear for the gleefully uninitiated in potty training.)</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Translation: I am very nearly<br />the mother of two<br />non disposable undergarment wearing<br />children.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Translation: more money every month,<br />and my strolls down <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> aisle in the grocery store<br />will be limited to the occasional bottle of Pedialtye<br />from here on out.<br /><br />Amen.</span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-50276857409315512602010-01-04T20:29:00.004-05:002010-01-05T21:33:04.405-05:00Odd ducks, Goats, Wise men, and the Anti-Racists Who Love ThemMom: Marcel you are an odd duck.<br /><br />Marcel: No I'm not.<br /><br />Mom: Yes dear you <span style="font-style: italic;">are</span> an odd duck.<br /><br />Marcel: No Mom I am not a <span style="font-style: italic;">duck</span>!<br /><br />( I happen to believe he knows what odd means, or else it is not <span style="font-style: italic;">so</span> funny.)<br /><br />+++<br /><br />Marcel: Uh oh peh-tea-goat.<br /><br />Mom: What's a peh tea goat?<br /><br />Sam (my Marcel translator) : spaghetti-o Mom!<br /><br />+++<br /><br />While rinsing Sam's hair in the bath as he is laying back the length of the tub he says;<br /><br />"Mom is this what it felt like when you washed my hair as a baby?"<br /><br />"Yes," I say smiling slow across my face in a soft way. His smile mirrors mine as he replies;<br /><br />"When you smile like that I remember being your baby too."<br /><br />+++<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Blog update</span>: I am weighing a zillion options. I won't bore you with them here. My designer/art student/all things fresh and clean guru forbids me from revealing any more details until we work things out a bit more. I want <span style="font-style: italic;">your</span> input. She insists that I wait.<br /><br />+++<br /><br />Incredible resource that I would challenge you all to read on <a href="http://loveisntenough.com/2009/12/30/how-to-be-an-anti-racist-ally/">Love Isn't Enough</a> website on how to be an<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Anti Racist Ally</span>. I have printed it out and put it by my bed because it feels that important to me. There is also a conversation after the post where one of my comments invites all sorts of responses. I felt attacked. I felt ashamed. Then I responded from my experience. The conversation that ensues could be another blog entry somewhere... One of the women who came to my "defense" has another t<a href="http://www.thehowertons.blogspot.com/">ransracial via adoption family blog</a> that might be of interest to many here.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-12690882702602031522010-01-03T08:47:00.005-05:002010-01-03T10:21:23.719-05:00Growing Pains<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRbOnAyibP7SO3r5vPp3ebmae1lwyHESYGip4GnQftBFhxElfrechdpLdAaStRxMw87EsOqdrUhKT97O7g-lynpADh45b3OFUbZsOtYU4I-pDaKXtdGiNoCt3atPQSozkODphUcRPSx1M/s1600-h/IMG_0480.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRbOnAyibP7SO3r5vPp3ebmae1lwyHESYGip4GnQftBFhxElfrechdpLdAaStRxMw87EsOqdrUhKT97O7g-lynpADh45b3OFUbZsOtYU4I-pDaKXtdGiNoCt3atPQSozkODphUcRPSx1M/s400/IMG_0480.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5422510106998928642" border="0" /></a><br />Like a child I am feeling the after effects of being exposed to CHANGE<br />and GROWTH last night. I am over tired, cranky and unsure of myself today.<br /><br />As the old timers know, Mama C is looking at a new home for this blog.<br /><br />With the help of the magnificent E we visited some a very promising spaces, and pictured where we'd put the kids room, my writer's desk and the like. The boys would have so much room to play there, and I could expand in all the directions I crave.<br /><br />Then this morning, waking up in my comfy little Blogger bed, I hear myself asking, <span style="font-style: italic;">isn't this enough</span>?<br /><br /><span>Sigh. </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Change is good </span>I tell the kids all the time, <span style="font-style: italic;">allows us to grow, even if we're not sure of ourselves at first. Not all choices are the right choice. It is what we make of it that matters.</span> Blah, blah, blah!<br /><br />I promised myself and the kids I'd not be stuck to this keyboard today, on our last day of winter break. So I entreat your patience new friends, and loyal readers alike. A day to consider, and a day of play is what this hot diggety-digger mama and her boys need.<br /><br />Gulp.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-63257248305075259762010-01-02T07:05:00.008-05:002010-01-02T07:50:16.625-05:00Teetering and Outgrown?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWcSa7GZMn6I3dFik_FngVG6-Gy1_DTNZXU7i-dxDe-AYYwDtPnNP3SYUWw-poLjVx3Hlnel88otbSwH5S9F-WwGUer-2e4LVMaYZHRp0SNSEKWq3u20mFuhkMSZiztqp4GDfYPVo7e5I/s1600-h/IMG_3347.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWcSa7GZMn6I3dFik_FngVG6-Gy1_DTNZXU7i-dxDe-AYYwDtPnNP3SYUWw-poLjVx3Hlnel88otbSwH5S9F-WwGUer-2e4LVMaYZHRp0SNSEKWq3u20mFuhkMSZiztqp4GDfYPVo7e5I/s400/IMG_3347.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5422112821667675858" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When Sam sat on this teeter<br />totter. He proclaimed; "Mom this<br />is too small for me now."<br />I had to ask him, if perhaps he wasn't too big for it?<br /><br />I am feeling same about this Blogger format.<br />Not that I am too big for it,<br />but perhaps the format is no longer the right one for my<br />blogger/writer aspirations.<br /><br />This blog has been my life line this year especially.<br />What has emerged out of this year of writing here is:<br /><br />1. The more I write, the more I write.<br /><br />2. My mainly free verse style is most conducive to my voice on most topics.<br /><br />3. Adoption, race, single parenting, transracial parenting, and reflection are the areas that feed this blog, and my thinking the most. But there are others too.<br /><br />4. I have a book to publish, and it came in large part from this blog, and the first five years of my parenting. Sharing that process, and how I get there from here feels important too.<br /><br />5. Sam's fifth birthday was a marker in ways <span style="font-style: italic;">for both of us</span> I haven't begun to understand. So it feels like a natural launching point-and stopping point for the first book (single parent/choice parent parenting, open adoption, race, transracial family and all that means for starters)<br /><br />6. You, the reader, are now part of my <span style="font-style: italic;">daily consciousness.</span><br /><br />7. Inviting your comments/feedback in an easier way feels increasingly necessary to me.<br /><br />So tonight Eddie, Sage and I are going to work together and look at what I am imagining, and where that might lead me. Uncle will have the boys, and we'll hole up in some cozy inspiring wifi environment and consider: Can I stay here, and use it differently? Do I need two blogs? Would another format meet my needs, and feel like the reader can navigate to areas of importance to them more easily? Hiring a twenty-two year old art student to set me up for my next blog chapter feels like an arrival all ready!<br /><br />I am a Pisces. We have an amazing year ahead of us according to my favorite<a href="http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/pisces_full.php"> astrological report</a> and the twelve year in the waiting return of Neptune apparently.<br /><br />Stay tuned, and fear not. If we leap-you will be able to get there from here, and the two sites I have been assured will be able to link together in all sorts of ways.<br /><br />If you have an opinion, or expertise you'd like to share on the matter please do.<br /><br />If you see me not budging an inch, it is because those two fish are always swimming in opposite directions!<br /><br />To following the right fish!<br /><br />Mama CMama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-13813707013331341312009-12-31T11:32:00.019-05:002009-12-31T15:08:08.788-05:00A Decade in Review (in less then ten sentences).<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJ3B4SZibpF7SsAx-xik9INEkp5ZN2KfudpWkroPJKIG1nzJDZ4Ny9k7Vd_kjEBXO5xaquzG_rYdD5PHxT9s8_8fHY3PD0HKzOlSEK5EOTWJ4QiDK9CnaYO8gY7_3ZgxYKZveGJQoLGo/s1600-h/images-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 101px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJ3B4SZibpF7SsAx-xik9INEkp5ZN2KfudpWkroPJKIG1nzJDZ4Ny9k7Vd_kjEBXO5xaquzG_rYdD5PHxT9s8_8fHY3PD0HKzOlSEK5EOTWJ4QiDK9CnaYO8gY7_3ZgxYKZveGJQoLGo/s400/images-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421439741593557906" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center; font-family: arial;">1999-Leave New York City for an island in Maine.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Pfon-IJLHli5wlUbMdfJ4wtnwDktnkp7fbYHzYhToajRcsK8_7gkK91tN6p3QxS7i6qg203ou5j4Fe1QVYe9mEbbDuFPBGiQYIYqDNgD6eVl89FY6484uBYW7eiQpD8RL1YOylxkkU4/s1600-h/images-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 124px; height: 93px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Pfon-IJLHli5wlUbMdfJ4wtnwDktnkp7fbYHzYhToajRcsK8_7gkK91tN6p3QxS7i6qg203ou5j4Fe1QVYe9mEbbDuFPBGiQYIYqDNgD6eVl89FY6484uBYW7eiQpD8RL1YOylxkkU4/s400/images-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421440393018215554" border="0" /></a>2000-Begin my teaching career.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3MYBsduZSDvsaIx-immq37W3nIhp5nV4Epg5mZ235zTqXiUqmfPKOgP31RuqrHAo5bKaJzakShAqF-KGFFJKAvZcG-_MRu7bE-G-ly9Q4g-zOUWCwMQPEJoIxwoEHsl1BZF3iWCkAD4/s1600-h/images-13.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 88px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3MYBsduZSDvsaIx-immq37W3nIhp5nV4Epg5mZ235zTqXiUqmfPKOgP31RuqrHAo5bKaJzakShAqF-KGFFJKAvZcG-_MRu7bE-G-ly9Q4g-zOUWCwMQPEJoIxwoEHsl1BZF3iWCkAD4/s200/images-13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421463172336597682" border="0" /></a>2001-Organize first of five annual week long artists retreat on a lake with five amazing women.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-C66Y2OY8KSBVSMLA1ClpriP4CsLn-yNHxrfEMuB4rZqP5mBOJjbVCFC1BlbTmukqefHltQ-mpG4Hfn5lWg_tIxB8YNm8r8qYfSrzX3rM83ppXYepZ7jyOsATZDKWtetd8aOgevB6VQ/s1600-h/images-6.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 85px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-C66Y2OY8KSBVSMLA1ClpriP4CsLn-yNHxrfEMuB4rZqP5mBOJjbVCFC1BlbTmukqefHltQ-mpG4Hfn5lWg_tIxB8YNm8r8qYfSrzX3rM83ppXYepZ7jyOsATZDKWtetd8aOgevB6VQ/s400/images-6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421445455243630162" border="0" /></a>2002-Buy my first home on the mainland.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRm5J9nkr8bpFqnJOgg9wuywiYQcPPJfHSLWU0VT8keAmCfG9yTRGQKfqgfA-aqeJMaWR2sJBfLfj8xKWxFlyTyq7bH2B1-CjDH2GZhqOe3JDo-RSRpYaY0_A1chOCxUDhsWfJC6po2DI/s1600-h/images-8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 107px; height: 143px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRm5J9nkr8bpFqnJOgg9wuywiYQcPPJfHSLWU0VT8keAmCfG9yTRGQKfqgfA-aqeJMaWR2sJBfLfj8xKWxFlyTyq7bH2B1-CjDH2GZhqOe3JDo-RSRpYaY0_A1chOCxUDhsWfJC6po2DI/s200/images-8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421449038999375682" border="0" /></a><br />2003-Decide to become a choice mom.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAkv4AIe9UfyndsWk0t5si8wB8K3iZXd5ptDTjXW58auZNRK99TAKdBNK25eiE6zS-N9UQ6ULE0Qxw1vBQgTMbJ0ApdYANtHqI65sct3SCSZSF8_rgxBHAZQ0L8jEHxvqcqSAwTtJSN1w/s1600-h/IMGP2551.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAkv4AIe9UfyndsWk0t5si8wB8K3iZXd5ptDTjXW58auZNRK99TAKdBNK25eiE6zS-N9UQ6ULE0Qxw1vBQgTMbJ0ApdYANtHqI65sct3SCSZSF8_rgxBHAZQ0L8jEHxvqcqSAwTtJSN1w/s200/IMGP2551.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421445813532941154" border="0" /></a>2004-Welcome Sam into my life.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr5WQnU2uQVSXfDijINMHaBgl7NTyBTKWD_yRK5TkxrnJgFkHbIRi9eI-X20oWccJoOY8Pq-WuBECkTuMNyDwFuvbsn_RpZ5pEPzFosqRYbln5pO67WeNDxNi8YnvSAfXFLP286F_jvw/s1600-h/images-7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 109px; height: 131px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZr5WQnU2uQVSXfDijINMHaBgl7NTyBTKWD_yRK5TkxrnJgFkHbIRi9eI-X20oWccJoOY8Pq-WuBECkTuMNyDwFuvbsn_RpZ5pEPzFosqRYbln5pO67WeNDxNi8YnvSAfXFLP286F_jvw/s200/images-7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421448441047170786" border="0" /></a><br />2005-Publish my first piece in a magazine.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyjBrIvcpq8lHl2-ONE25Akqn2IGcuuG2gyPW0gxowRrMXYOcWkaq-IKmWqlAWKkSzxnsvAckhcocJ4BuGLMMrcrtt38c0j1xrLBhuWiFPT70nhT-hS23X1j338mpq7RlmNr3WZR2Fe_o/s1600-h/images-9.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 129px; height: 103px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyjBrIvcpq8lHl2-ONE25Akqn2IGcuuG2gyPW0gxowRrMXYOcWkaq-IKmWqlAWKkSzxnsvAckhcocJ4BuGLMMrcrtt38c0j1xrLBhuWiFPT70nhT-hS23X1j338mpq7RlmNr3WZR2Fe_o/s200/images-9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421451940735191218" border="0" /></a><br />2006-Commit to being a writer as well as teacher and a mom.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwZDfUgb9FBaPXpClXvkz3-mDdLzZkd2t2hfqzss2_0q5DcIoLQ8sa1W1sVieGlMSCnDF_t-kIrfK2Ug9p2Wsz_2wWe8RRJ0SAuTdGk7ulODE_i2fKKaJQanf5O3rfleGrknJgYk0xGo/s1600-h/smile.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 154px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwZDfUgb9FBaPXpClXvkz3-mDdLzZkd2t2hfqzss2_0q5DcIoLQ8sa1W1sVieGlMSCnDF_t-kIrfK2Ug9p2Wsz_2wWe8RRJ0SAuTdGk7ulODE_i2fKKaJQanf5O3rfleGrknJgYk0xGo/s200/smile.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421450463518940674" border="0" /></a><br />2007-Welcome Marcel into our lives.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRe1zyRmCoCNtCNitjgFXXk93-mO6SCYU8Hsr_nmEOpjLtuobl9EbNDR0lzzpMJG_nbj7Mpv9fdwxtqX0UNgA0NVRVgvx_MBfAA-Hs1h7hjTQvW5D8Tvm7b9nRfPMfwsYEaQbRzA4th0/s1600-h/images-14.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRe1zyRmCoCNtCNitjgFXXk93-mO6SCYU8Hsr_nmEOpjLtuobl9EbNDR0lzzpMJG_nbj7Mpv9fdwxtqX0UNgA0NVRVgvx_MBfAA-Hs1h7hjTQvW5D8Tvm7b9nRfPMfwsYEaQbRzA4th0/s200/images-14.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421494334821413010" border="0" /></a><br />2008-Voted for a president who won!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQYkS8fkSb3HVoOfamAR0J72KYp34BzS9wLBRCplOj49kQArU0GsdAfSogA5vA7f5tpvF0_NIGTtRC4uDKH5cIPDKAVZ2sBP9eJ6y052UUWlPQpRb0P6Jp2k1vhdrpYeExepc5lQGWzEM/s1600-h/images-12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 117px; height: 87px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQYkS8fkSb3HVoOfamAR0J72KYp34BzS9wLBRCplOj49kQArU0GsdAfSogA5vA7f5tpvF0_NIGTtRC4uDKH5cIPDKAVZ2sBP9eJ6y052UUWlPQpRb0P6Jp2k1vhdrpYeExepc5lQGWzEM/s200/images-12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5421462478626014898" border="0" /></a>2009-Put Mama C and the Boys on the map, published ten times.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Thank you to one an all for being part of this amazing decade.</span><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br />* And thank you to Honeysmoke for the inspiration for this decade-in-review post and it's design:<br />http://www.honeysmoke.com/</span><br /><br /></div>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-41881673048068868752009-12-30T14:31:00.007-05:002009-12-30T15:07:50.114-05:00The Language of Love<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwnU-ZIUlx9TFq3Of406iWGTjb1U6vpWDDRxtg_jjJMXZf-vn8R73Ct2h2Vu3q2bHcuQBqR4SNLD2brMCJPLg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />I can't keep all this sweetness to myself.<br />Marcel woke our first morning home full of<br />joy and brotherly love.<br /><br />Here he delights in the sounds and the mastery of his own instrumentation.<br /><br />Consider this your New Year's Baby from MamaC.<br /><br />It was either that or my big mug wishing you all a laughter filled<br />New Years. (One of my big goals, is more laughter-for me-of me-around me.)<br /><br />They say VLOGGING is the new blogging. <br />I say reading is still something one enjoys doing on occasion.<br /><br />I am in my "what will I manifest in 2010?" mode.<br /><br />I have two days to myself, after eight days solid with the boys.<br />I started with a hot stone massage.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">When you create space in the body, it's amazing</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">how much space opens up outside the body</span>,<br />my magical masseuse/healer/visionary guru and dear friend Sage offered.<br /><br />I left there seeing my manuscript writing itself,<br />a gym membership landing in my lap with the time to<br />use it, and the key to the perfect and affordable writer's studio<br />handed to me by March.<br /><br />Then I imagined myself in a nourishing relationship.<br /><br />I walked home slower then I have placed one foot in front of the other in years.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-69133648600916813492009-12-29T07:57:00.002-05:002009-12-29T23:58:27.344-05:00Adoption Mosaic--A Model for AllThe Adoption Mosaic newsletter is out, and ready to be downloaded. You can reach it and them through my link on the right under "Mama C in Print" as they included "Black Enough" in the Winter Edition! But as much as I am fond of self promotion, that is not why I am writing about them here. In their own words <b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></b>: <br />
<b> </b><br />
<b>Adoption Mosaic is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization providing educational resources and</b><b><span style="color: black;"> ongoing support to all those whose lives are influenced by adoption. We provide pre-adoption support and post adoption support through adoption readiness trainings, transracial adoption workshops, adoptee and community movie nights, our adoption blog, book reviews, movie reviews and much much more.</span></b><br />
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Based in Portland, Oregon they are providing a model for what the adoption community should expect, demand, and commit to world wide in my humble opinion. I can't imagine how much more connected and supported I would feel if we had an events calendar like this to look forward to:</span></span></b><br />
<div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><b>January 2010</b><br />
<span style="color: black;"><b><a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/wp-content/uploads/calendar-save-the-date2.jpg"><img alt="Calendar" class="alignright alignnone size-full wp-image-119" height="121" src="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/wp-content/uploads/calendar-save-the-date2.jpg" style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 5px;" title="calendar-save-the-date2" width="191" /></a></b></span><br />
<ul><li>January 3 - <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=415">African-American Hair Care</a> (part 1 0f 3)</li>
<li>January 12 - <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=53" target="_self" title="Movie Group">Movie Group</a> – Adult adoptees only</li>
<li>January 23 & 24 - <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=40" title="Adoption Readiness">Adoption Readiness</a></li>
<li>January 23 - <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=114" title="Strengthening Attachment With Your Child">Strengthening Attachment with Your Child</a> (Ages 6 and younger)</li>
<li>January 23 ~ <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=50" title="Adopted Youth Group">Youth Activity Group</a> – Parent Orientation</li>
<li>January 25 ~<a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=50" title="Adopted Youth Group"> Youth Activity Group</a> – 6 week series begins (Grades 1 – 6)</li>
<li>January 17 -<a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=415">African-American Hair Care</a> (part 2 0f 3)</li>
<li>January 30 ~ <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=46" title="Talking About Adoption">What & When: Talking with Your Child About Adoption</a></li>
<li>January 30 ~<a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=47" title="Lifestory Books"> Lifestory Books</a> – Every Child Has a History</li>
<li>January 31 - <a href="http://www.adoptionmosaic.org/?p=415">African-American Hair Care</a> (part 3 0f 3)</li>
</ul>In addition to all of the above is their thought provoking blog, and resource rich quarterly newsletter. I feel as if A.M. is a constant affirmation to all of us in the adoption <i>mosiac</i> of what we should, could and can expect in the way of dialogue, community, connection, and education. With this kind of resource and think tank as a model it ups the anti and importance of the day to day work we are all doing already. <br />
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So check them out, spread the word, and offer them your feedback, praise and ideas! I have also noticed on one of their calendars of programs they have co-hosted in other cities as well. So don't let the location stop you, if you are an East Coaster for example.<br />
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Thank you to Tara Kim for introducing me to the organization, and for including my poem in their newsletter as well as a handout for their African-American Hair Care event! <br />
<b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b><span style="color: black;"> </span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-59063110851533877242009-12-28T22:55:00.003-05:002009-12-29T09:41:38.595-05:00Living Large<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgllsCme8SUvwla3GHx21LuUNkACwTNH2cZCJBZsjKAUoLopREkoWh73GP1XhNX3yMkPR0cjff74pdimJ3HqyD4XEOhZsFS3u8HHPYctQ-3SdSiz-c0SzvNesFS-QF-ryOyEov_GN-cisI/s1600-h/IMG_3364.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgllsCme8SUvwla3GHx21LuUNkACwTNH2cZCJBZsjKAUoLopREkoWh73GP1XhNX3yMkPR0cjff74pdimJ3HqyD4XEOhZsFS3u8HHPYctQ-3SdSiz-c0SzvNesFS-QF-ryOyEov_GN-cisI/s400/IMG_3364.JPG" /></a><br />
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<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love this photo.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What a magnificent image of Sam at five, Sam and I.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We're home safe.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The boys were remarkable travelers.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Strangers were kind, help was abundant.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Uncle retrieved us from the airport<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and had a feast waiting for the weary trio-<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what a gift.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(In the car waiting for Uncle to put the suitcase<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in as I buckle him in Sam announces;<i> </i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>Mom that was the best time-</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>I am so happy still!</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I kiss his head and reply,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You couldn't have said anything to make me happier.)<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Unpacking is one of my joys.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Reliving the week in folded pieces,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and play dough canisters tucked in winter boots.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sam's birth mother's birthday present was waiting<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on the kitchen table.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Transformer pajamas, two DVD's, and a five one dollar bills.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">An envelope full of family pictures,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and the card.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"I love you very much, and I always will."<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What a gift.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
Of course to myself I am thinking;<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you wouldn't have loved the way he<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">just tackled his little brother...<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I want to text her immediately and thank her<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and tell her that he loves the pajamas<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(and not tell her they were a little small,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and how I am secretly OK with that, as if<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">somehow that shows that she is not<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">completely in sync with everything<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">about him, although<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">damn close) but I wait.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
I need time to land too.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
I notice the floor in dire need of a wash,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the draft blasting in from the window,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and the hole in my quilt that looks<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">even bigger somehow.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sam asks if our toilet got lower<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to the ground, as Marcel<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">runs around with the one stuffed animal<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he managed not to bring with us<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in his arms.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
Everything is perfect in the homecoming<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">light.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
Sam asks if he can eat in my lap.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Marcel wants to sit next to Uncle.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can't believe how lovely the man next to Sam<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was on the plane the entire way home.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We are all soft around the edges.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Lists start to write themselves;<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">thank you notes,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">grading,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">bank,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">grocery,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">call someone about this,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and ask someone about that,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and then I look at them<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and all of us<br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">and I relax-</span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">because we made it home in one piece-<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> and we are all amazing and<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">this<i> is</i> enough.<br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-16966550334317930612009-12-28T07:43:00.000-05:002009-12-28T07:43:17.116-05:00Wisdom of the Ages<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">When Marcel can't communicate his needs<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">he falls to the ground and gives in to the primal<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">release of frustration and anger.<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Fists and feet pounding.<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">At forty-one I do the same thing, but instead of the floor<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I take it out on myself through constant <br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">internal doubt laden<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">comment and questioning.<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I prefer the Marcel model.<br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>As a highly verbal child with a relatively clued in Mama<br />
he has less and less opportunity for<br />
such dissolution into his emotional flooring.<br />
<br />
As a highly verbal and communicative <br />
woman/daughter/mother/sister/friend<br />
it is remarkable how much I could learn from Marcel.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-6525624159123344962009-12-26T08:46:00.002-05:002009-12-26T19:59:53.413-05:00Houston We Have Landed<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuho7l0jjFl7xp0RzX-7zsjXJI0rUmRlYu_mKgfpIPsrKzqL2_dKpyCz40drVucC2f11unhHsgIqnM9DiMzI9ohySTf0NNgwgA5B-x1f6-fEa0-3PRxWvtQCV16kmHTaO7_EMvJ4iJS0/s1600-h/IMG_3326.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuho7l0jjFl7xp0RzX-7zsjXJI0rUmRlYu_mKgfpIPsrKzqL2_dKpyCz40drVucC2f11unhHsgIqnM9DiMzI9ohySTf0NNgwgA5B-x1f6-fEa0-3PRxWvtQCV16kmHTaO7_EMvJ4iJS0/s320/IMG_3326.JPG" /></a><br />
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He did it.<br />
His first overnight a grand success.<br />
Just spoke to the small voice, in the large boy.<br />
<em>Mommy where are you?</em><br />
Have some breakfast young man. I am so proud of you.<br />
<em>OK.</em><br />
And then call me when you are ready for me to come pick you up.<br />
<em>OK.</em><br />
<br />
Thank you G & G for guiding him to the top of this star safely.<br />
I am well rested, as Marcel calls it all;<br />
<em>Mommy I'm ready to see Sammy now.</em><br />
<br />
To Nana last night I confess;<br />
I didn't realize how hard it would be to let Sammy find his <br />
independence.<br />
She nods with understanding, having raised two boys too.<br />
<br />
A night apart gave me needed light and lightness.<br />
A night apart gave me the space to see <br />
how much I have been dragging him in,<br />
while he has been pulling away.<br />
<br />
I can see the earth more clearly from the moon.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-24624223854207520802009-12-25T20:44:00.003-05:002009-12-26T08:35:01.984-05:00Air and Space<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxzYLFbUYbbQaMl_WtXBEMEdc3qordOw5A9DsE2eRvpsHGO5kRpJqERyK5uQCUkmkqhwKq2ckERXtgXXIy8sIVScn3M3Wb-7RT3FNlkAYlpzPQcYkLfZYS3Ko9Lx_heD2PzRk9QA78is/s1600/IMG_3286.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxzYLFbUYbbQaMl_WtXBEMEdc3qordOw5A9DsE2eRvpsHGO5kRpJqERyK5uQCUkmkqhwKq2ckERXtgXXIy8sIVScn3M3Wb-7RT3FNlkAYlpzPQcYkLfZYS3Ko9Lx_heD2PzRk9QA78is/s320/IMG_3286.JPG" style="margin-top: 0px;" /></a><br />
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We took to the air.<br />
We conquered space.<br />
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Seat 12 A finds Sam alone with Mama and Marcel<br />
behind, marvelling at how my almost five<br />
has already claimed air travel as his own-<br />
while I try to keep Houdini at two <br />
from the call button, <em>again.</em><br />
<br />
Washington, D.C. landing at night<br />
lights large on merrily lit lawns.<br />
Keeping tired eyes wide<br />
the entire ride to Nana's house we go.<br />
<br />
Waking to birthday balloons<br />
jelly donuts and the promise of a day <br />
devoted to being high and five.<br />
<br />
Birthdays are for adoptees either of epic import <br />
or stuffed under the carpet hushed for another year<br />
Sam falls under the first category:<br />
airplane+bowling alley+pizza party meet the bill.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv7icTJFeoOB0w8W5hD3gVk5HtonN7X1mQTei6q5794ILS8dumoCbuHdf1P8EB6EPt0ENo29yu84VTYW1qFsM0mTLGHdrlfUXS41mMaQ8GWhV0wvgufnb4wRi1-NDxLNh3fNiELsAZXMA/s1600-h/IMG_3287.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv7icTJFeoOB0w8W5hD3gVk5HtonN7X1mQTei6q5794ILS8dumoCbuHdf1P8EB6EPt0ENo29yu84VTYW1qFsM0mTLGHdrlfUXS41mMaQ8GWhV0wvgufnb4wRi1-NDxLNh3fNiELsAZXMA/s320/IMG_3287.JPG" /></a><br />
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<em>I can be an astronaut</em><br />
as he places his flag in the new moon of his independence.<br />
Tonight this explorer is on his first overnight<br />
with Grampy and Grammy Bear-Bear and Blankie,<br />
I'm here with the co-pilot and<br />
Nana navigating a lift off of another direction.<br />
Marcel lands so softly in my heart these days.<br />
<br />
The territory that I am fogged in again is the familiar <br />
ground of dissapointment unwrapped. <br />
Being fourteen wrapped in forty-one.<br />
<br />
Motherhood is a gravitational pull<br />
though not always pulling me to the mother I want to be<br />
in a yoga pose, sleep deprived on the warm carpet before <br />
the waiting tree I promise myself<br />
space to let this be enough-for once.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-33684263766039696462009-12-21T06:18:00.001-05:002009-12-21T07:07:05.546-05:00Unpaired and PreparedSolstice.<br />
Incremental return to light.<br />
A five year old on the horizon.<br />
A packed suitcase and two copied birth<br />
certificates on the ready.<br />
Imminent flight.<br />
<br />
Single Mother by Choice<br />
or circumstance we are <br />
Unpaired and prepared<br />
for travel and arrival and<br />
the getting there.<br />
Daily.<br />
<br />
Hats of to us at the holidays<br />
ladies as we make it as big<br />
or as small as they require.<br />
Stoking the fire in the hearths<br />
of our intentional<br />
families. <br />
<br />
Short haired with a vision.<br />
On a mission to collect<br />
the day in keystrokes.<br />
<br />
Stronger at forty-one then at<br />
forty. A soccer mom not becuase<br />
I take them there, but because I join<br />
them there on the basement floor<br />
where I have the moves flying <br />
by Sam scoring with precision<br />
as Marcel yells<i> GOAL</i> <i>Mommy!</i><br />
Discovering alone while Uncle is away <br />
the autonomy I need is not in the dishwater<br />
or on the screen, but in the score<br />
of 3 to O.<br />
<br />
Every day an incremental<br />
<span id="goog_1261392531477"></span><span id="goog_1261392531478"></span>return to the light.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-44212645474274429512009-12-19T15:19:00.014-05:002009-12-19T18:48:18.802-05:00Hairless and Hepless living with Hip<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSgCEMiYwbr0mu8U3lZnHxDcqdNgcwvTJcKQzPVtgV5c9Wf0WjhHMwR0bFh9Ljp3wNB5em1O_17ENUfFVEt2ndYlEfuw1SNjAnZkxVYSoDVsWCj6gP4YfvufM1Bh7w7qFNOpOEOuPckqQ/s1600-h/Photo+320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSgCEMiYwbr0mu8U3lZnHxDcqdNgcwvTJcKQzPVtgV5c9Wf0WjhHMwR0bFh9Ljp3wNB5em1O_17ENUfFVEt2ndYlEfuw1SNjAnZkxVYSoDVsWCj6gP4YfvufM1Bh7w7qFNOpOEOuPckqQ/s320/Photo+320.jpg" /></a><br />
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Music is Sam's passion.<br />
For his birthday-an ipod nano shuffle<br />
loaded with his twenty favorite songs<br />
and a special decibel limiting head set.<br />
(Who knew ear buds didn't fit little people's ears?<br />
Thankfully I had him open this present a few<br />
days before we got on the plane. Uncle saved the day<br />
with a pre departure swing to the Apple store<br />
with nephew to re-fit the nano's listening device.)<br />
Now he spends hours moon walking in footy pajamas<br />
to MJ, Madonna, Outkast, The Jackson Five,<br />
Stevie Wonder, and Jack Johnson.<br />
<br />
He earns an i-tune download every few days for<br />
remarkable feats of Sam-ness.<br />
He ballroom dances with his friends at school,<br />
and leaves a gaggle of adults speechless.<br />
He has never seen ballroom dancing,<br />
but he appears to have been taking lessons for years.<br />
<br />
I played the cello in middle school.<br />
I saw Annie Lennox in concert before she was the Eurythmics.<br />
I pressed my ear to the floor<br />
that was my brother's ceiling downstairs<br />
to fall asleep to Simon and Garfunkle, and Bonnie Rait.<br />
I went to the bands my friends started in college.<br />
I go to bands my friends started in middle age.<br />
I haven't initiated a musical choice in my life.<br />
I listen because I am invited to.<br />
<br />
Living with this new generation musician<br />
may or may not change this.<br />
<br />
I am trying to invite musical intelligence into my life.<br />
<br />
Like this morning-<br />
sitting in the chair,<br />
watching my hair fall to the ground,<br />
(<i>Pixie style?</i> She asked.<br />
<i>I want it off.</i> I said.)<br />
I did not tense up when she began the conversation. <br />
Of course I couldn't remember anything I listened to.<br />
Doves, Ya Ya Ya's, Muse and Metric<br />
are her current faves.<br />
<br />
I write these down<br />
in the little hard bound<br />
blank book I keep in my pocket<br />
for such occasions.<br />
I have been carrying that<br />
little book again.<br />
This is a good sign.<br />
<br />
It amuses her I think-<br />
that I am curious what she listens to.<br />
<br />
Last week I asked my 6-8th graders to tell me their top three songs.<br />
I am compiling a list, suddenly curious <br />
what my students are listening to.<br />
I spent the afternoon watching their choices on You Tube.<br />
<br />
Two words sum up the recurring themes: apocalypse and romance:<br />
<br />
Yankee Daddy<br />
Lady Gaga<br />
Mario<br />
New Boyz<br />
Bad Boyz<br />
Cupid<br />
Beyonce<br />
Rihanna<br />
Justin Bieber and <br />
and Lil Wayne<br />
<br />
We <i>do</i> listen to Chopin before bed.<br />
Jim gave me the CD when I asked him to get the boys<br />
some good classical music next time<br />
he was in his basement of freebies.<br />
(For a non musical person, I am surrounded by DJ's,<br />
musicians, composers and the like.)<br />
<br />
Annie Lennox taught Lady Gaga everything she knows in my opinion.<br />
Luckilly no one is ever going to ask me for my opinion.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-23637775388189933502009-12-15T18:42:00.008-05:002009-12-17T00:03:45.333-05:00History in the Texting Part II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDOE5WxzIKEnKDyjB0D4KCErayXLd7wZiGlLf2oktcAYP5qAnxQCvo_Lowoktng2FD3sY-mRgAdUrfSzs9J_G1COzHKkGMNgIwIEXMPShMdpirJZgtiCuZD1S_L1bqdeHYS7AjLhVxJSk/s1600-h/how-electronic-notifications-work-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDOE5WxzIKEnKDyjB0D4KCErayXLd7wZiGlLf2oktcAYP5qAnxQCvo_Lowoktng2FD3sY-mRgAdUrfSzs9J_G1COzHKkGMNgIwIEXMPShMdpirJZgtiCuZD1S_L1bqdeHYS7AjLhVxJSk/s320/how-electronic-notifications-work-3.jpg" /></a><br />
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Around this time<br />
each year there is a flurry of activity<br />
in our communication.<br />
<br />
At first it was letters.<br />
Then it was calls.<br />
Then emails.<br />
<br />
Now, Sam's birth mother and I text each other.<br />
<br />
Texting is short, less direct, and safe:<br />
for<i> both</i> of us.<br />
<br />
The flurry is attributed to Sam's birthday<br />
and Christmas.<br />
<br />
Both of these holidays are important to her, too.<br />
<br />
The last flurry of texts:<br />
shirt/pant/shoe size<br />
if Sam had <i>Monsters and Aliens</i>, the movie.<br />
<br />
(I google it quickly, read the preview<br />
is it something I will be able to support?<br />
The eighty-six foot tall blonde protagonist<br />
scares me, but I say "no he doesn't" and reply.)<br />
<br />
I ask what books her kids are reading.<br />
What they are doing that interests them.<br />
<br />
I warn her that what Sam picked out for her<br />
was well, something she might not want to wear<br />
out of the house.<br />
<br />
<i>OK, LOL </i>she replies.<br />
<br />
Will she choose to wear a gaudy<br />
necklace out?<br />
Will she explain who sent it?<br />
Where does the ink to that story land?<br />
<br />
It was five years ago that we all met in the hospital<br />
room, twice. Then once in her house on our<br />
way to the airport to say goodbye.<br />
<br />
I felt loose with her this time.<br />
Light even. So I venture into<br />
new territory. Leave the familiar<br />
warn down chips of the<br />
polite, semi-formal well<br />
establish path,<br />
and venture to new ground;<br />
<br />
<i>It was five years ago</i><br />
<i>this week that I got the call</i><br />
<i>that you had chosen me.</i><br />
<i>We have been talking about</i><br />
<i>that a lot.</i><br />
<br />
Send.<br />
<br />
<i>That was the hardest</i><br />
<i>thing ever. </i><br />
<i>There was so many people</i><br />
<i>2 go through.</i><br />
<br />
Received.<br />
<br />
I gasp.<br />
I picture it-on her couch.<br />
Her pregnant with a pile of profiles.<br />
Mine in there somewhere.<br />
Did mine stick out a little<br />
with it's horizontal orientation?<br />
<br />
Imagining her turning each page,<br />
picturing a little version of<br />
herself inserted into each family<br />
portrait.<br />
<br />
But, I can't imagine<br />
the meaning<br />
of<i> hardest</i> in that text.<br />
<br />
I feel the gratitude that she shared this with me.<br />
In a text, that I can save <i>here</i>. <br />
<br />
(She chose me because I was the<br />
<i>most like her</i><br />
I was told.)<br />
<br />
We were both- <br />
single.<br />
She wanted to be a- <br />
teacher.<br />
She liked to read-<br />
plays.<br />
<br />
I did too.<br />
<br />
<i>Whoa. Sam and I like to </i><br />
<i>say that he helped you choose</i><br />
<i>me. I am so thrilled you </i><br />
<i>made the crazy choice you did.</i><br />
<i>He is my pride and joy.</i><br />
<br />
Send.<br />
<br />
Then I quickly follow with;<br />
<br />
<i>We love you so much.</i><br />
<br />
Send.<br />
<br />
<i>I love you guys 2 :-]</i><br />
<i>Go to bed lol. It's </i><br />
<i>late over there.</i><br />
<br />
Received.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-89294135659340861452009-12-13T20:23:00.005-05:002009-12-13T20:36:08.774-05:00Tears from the Royal Family: Ode to Ti & Naveen<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDDnuixPa9VSrFnntMfrawx7FharA3myAH36wpJp9Sll5vBTrvSq6o9fWJkJStR3YTbWoePAXKwkuYXYwbkMrRFxYgN7znIugLTOdZ0xaEozBG1ldevoF6osVICtlYnySoCxHpknVYkA/s1600-h/IMG_3182.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDDnuixPa9VSrFnntMfrawx7FharA3myAH36wpJp9Sll5vBTrvSq6o9fWJkJStR3YTbWoePAXKwkuYXYwbkMrRFxYgN7znIugLTOdZ0xaEozBG1ldevoF6osVICtlYnySoCxHpknVYkA/s400/IMG_3182.JPG" /></a><br />
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We were all crying at the end-for different reasons.<br />
<br />
E the older was crying because as a twenty-one year old Haitian woman<br />
seeing a gorgeous hard working brown skinned princess on the screen-<br />
opened up so many years of not seeing herself up there.<br />
With Marcel sleeping in her arms, she cries because these boys<br />
who are her boys too-won't know what it's like<br />
to be invisible in Disney's World.<br />
<br />
E the younger was crying for the loss of Ray,<br />
and all the sadness his passing opened up in her little<br />
compassionate five year old soul. Her mother guiding<br />
her to the gentle message there-of fireflies into stars everywhere.<br />
<br />
Sam was crying, because movies do that.<br />
Evoke. Even if he didn't know why.<br />
Maybe crying at something so much larger then you<br />
when you are almost five.<br />
<br />
Shadow Man was so scary that <br />
he hid behind his home made tiara-mask that he and little E<br />
created for the event. His brown eyes seeing his brown eyes<br />
through glitter lined holes, filtering the fear.<br />
<br />
I was crying too.<br />
Funny how never seeing yourself as a princess girl-<br />
keeps you from yearning for a certain kind of charming.<br />
Drawn more often to the shadow of a man. <br />
<br />
Mama Odie tell us to <i>dig a little deeper</i><br />
<i>to find what you need</i>.<br />
Ray's in love with the evening star,<br />
and my sons can now be the president and the prince.<br />
<br />
+++<br />
<br />
Note: A more measured take on the film <i>may</i> follow.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-67995998732961433562009-12-11T20:41:00.002-05:002009-12-11T22:19:26.869-05:00Black and White<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwp1IDYT0Ors4qaF2G8i_dY_YuNpkO5YOuE0i-yprhcEfmqZrAuPc27xzeUqHxV2I2nRLcFSQG2SSNG3w-_KjyAZNsoVqQeF_B12DfEdXX6ZksAMSmj1b8PMfSxF9Dx990beSKOSTMoE/s1600-h/IMG_3167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwp1IDYT0Ors4qaF2G8i_dY_YuNpkO5YOuE0i-yprhcEfmqZrAuPc27xzeUqHxV2I2nRLcFSQG2SSNG3w-_KjyAZNsoVqQeF_B12DfEdXX6ZksAMSmj1b8PMfSxF9Dx990beSKOSTMoE/s400/IMG_3167.JPG" /></a><br />
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<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is an oddly perfect picture of us.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(And if you have the dubious distinction of being on our<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">holiday card mailing list, you'll get the hard copy<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as soon as Snapfish says so.)<br />
</div><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The best part was that I ushered us all on the floor<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the other day for an inspired;<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Hey lets make our holiday card right now" moment<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and it worked on one try.<br />
</div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have a feeling 2010 is going to be the decade of making things </span><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">work like that more often, because my first forty years of trying<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to be perfect did not yield much in the way of perfection.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is the parts that were not what I intended<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that have turned out the best.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had another piece that you <i>read here first</i> accepted for publication<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">today--<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> the <i>Shades of People</i> book review-at Adoptive Families Magazine.)</span><br />
</div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That brings my number of pieces published or accepted for publication</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to a total of nine this year, not including a podcast scheduled for</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">January or February on Mixed Chicks Chat. My goal was five.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Give yourselves credit readers for giving me the lift, the incentive,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and the feedback to keep at it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Happy Hanukkah, Princess and the Frog Opening</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in most of the country, and above all </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Happy Eve of Anticipatory Motherhood to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">December 12th, 2004 was when I got "the call".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sam was born, and in my arms less than two weeks later. <br />
</span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-87136869914375162862009-12-10T06:37:00.003-05:002009-12-10T06:39:21.767-05:00Self Portrait by Sam<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtNcFKuYqPapFQFSqMNxi2BukM_-axWs-ebhlR71v2xfxJtyrN7X4LRCO-zGWXLATNo87M1xVXfngN4e_DtiChz6Vap-hjJFv9CTEykdOXvnPyNsTaAUz5rRGL1PlSOfTQ4vm2PkkgNa8/s1600-h/IMG_3154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtNcFKuYqPapFQFSqMNxi2BukM_-axWs-ebhlR71v2xfxJtyrN7X4LRCO-zGWXLATNo87M1xVXfngN4e_DtiChz6Vap-hjJFv9CTEykdOXvnPyNsTaAUz5rRGL1PlSOfTQ4vm2PkkgNa8/s400/IMG_3154.JPG" /></a><br />
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<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is why Brown Santa Man is getting him a camera.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He took this yesterday-after sledding.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He loved it-and asked me to post it.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Not just any camera--the Argus Bean-in green.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Not mentioning it here to promote it--but to warn you away</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">from those "my first camera" numbers by Playschool and the like.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">According to this budding pho-tog you can't see a thing in those-</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">the screen looks like a muddy puddle-and what kid wants that?</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Argus Bean clips on to anything, is water proof, indestructible,</span><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and has rechargable batteries.</span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-53431771893888100372009-12-09T23:02:00.008-05:002009-12-10T06:47:39.725-05:00Breakthrough on Ice<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsm_3bXDFW-2p-UiV1yVhIAxw3035l0a2YGFrxP0ZT9309GJt1JNNV4zpeYW66_sY3aLboUGN7lNEqo5kFiVQruwDQr0gM_LFgfTvCKEwAiKLYvwyoFo65e2iRqwCgi9QnvKHpNef9vf0/s1600-h/IMG_3136.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsm_3bXDFW-2p-UiV1yVhIAxw3035l0a2YGFrxP0ZT9309GJt1JNNV4zpeYW66_sY3aLboUGN7lNEqo5kFiVQruwDQr0gM_LFgfTvCKEwAiKLYvwyoFo65e2iRqwCgi9QnvKHpNef9vf0/s400/IMG_3136.JPG" /></a><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I slip on my green slippers with the pom poms and sneak into the kitchen to make the instant coffee.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It is a snow day. I am not full of joy for the day off. I wanted to go to work. This tells me that I am more off balance then I thought. </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A few hours later I am sledding down a hill in a blizzard with Marcel in my lap pausing from the crying long enough </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">to holler in delight<br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and Sam holding onto the back of the sled</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">laughing his butt off.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are there with a new friend and her daughter.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Soon we give in to the ice pellets on raw skin<br />
</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and trudge back home to thaw with hot cocoa, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">popcorn and ugly decorated cookies.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">My new friend admires my home, my children.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Her daughter looks like I did as a girl, with her square jaw</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">and wispy bangs. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Girl energy in my house is balancing. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I realize I still long for that daughter too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I remember the one I lost at thirteen weeks,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">and the message on the machine identifying the <i>tissue</i> as female.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Her fantasy name: Dixie. Meryl Dixie Junior Girl Dale actually.<br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I like being reminded of her, and what it felt like to carry</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">all that girl knowing for that blip on the screen,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> that then faded out.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">If I wasn't a mom, I would have been in all day</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">longing for an opportunity to be outside sledding with </span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">a superhero like Sam, and a loop like Marcel.</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I would have had no idea how easy it was to stay inside alone,</span><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and write. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Because to me then, <i>that</i> was a hard choice.</span><br />
</div>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-36802945490385475892009-12-08T22:15:00.006-05:002009-12-08T22:43:40.978-05:00You Are Not My Real Mom, take two.The following is as verbatim a record of our conversation<br />
after dinner tonight as I could reconstruct.<br />
<br />
I've been here before, and had several hours of<br />
(now discontinued for financial reasons) family therapy<br />
to help me navigate it better <i>each</i> time.<br />
It begins with Sam.<br />
_______________<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC6D0wVyaZvkfbFMEg6FGcvqT7T4IJAtmcvK-R1E6QT9p1DbOczNgjGnn6bcw74AuM2FyOzREEB8_JzCJxZoFmVrRmmhrNI0rggmJBS886LLcnkpQJbkCgXPyp3qX_UC8ivcEm_eCNQ6k/s1600-h/DEMOLISH+02+BM-thumb.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC6D0wVyaZvkfbFMEg6FGcvqT7T4IJAtmcvK-R1E6QT9p1DbOczNgjGnn6bcw74AuM2FyOzREEB8_JzCJxZoFmVrRmmhrNI0rggmJBS886LLcnkpQJbkCgXPyp3qX_UC8ivcEm_eCNQ6k/s640/DEMOLISH+02+BM-thumb.JPG" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I want my real mom.<br />
<br />
I am your real mom.<br />
<br />
No, I want my real mom.<br />
I want her to be here now.<br />
<br />
You mean your birth mother?<br />
<br />
No, I mean, my real mom.<br />
She's my everyday mom, not you.<br />
<br />
It feels really hard to not have her here doesn't it?<br />
<br />
Yes!<br />
<br />
I don't want to hurt your feelings.<br />
<br />
OK.<br />
<br />
But, I want to live with her <i>now</i>.<br />
<br />
[As the wrecking ball heaves itself out of the debris<br />
which was my heart, and gathers momentum<br />
for the next hit, I breathe and remember that this is<br />
all about him. I can do this. I can.]<br />
<br />
That doesn't hurt my feelings, I say.<br />
It makes me feel good inside that you are telling<br />
Mommy what is in your heart.<br />
I always want you to tell me what you need to.<br />
<br />
You don't love me everyday.<br />
<br />
Now <i>that</i> is crazy talk. Of course I do.<br />
Why do you think that? <br />
<br />
If you loved me everyday you wouldn't yell at me.<br />
<br />
I wish I wouldn't yell.<br />
And I wish you would listen<br />
when I ask you the first three times.<br />
And, I wish I wasn't so tired.<br />
But you're right. Sometimes I do yell. <br />
I love you even when I am yelling.<br />
<br />
[At this point Sam gets off the stool he is sitting on,<br />
and climbs into my lap, putting his head underneath<br />
my chin, and against my neck.]<br />
<br />
I am looking up at the letter he gave me<br />
that he wrote at school today.<br />
It is taped to the wall, all alone looking regal. <br />
<br />
The first letter he ever wrote:<br />
<br />
I U. I L U Mom. Sam. (L=love he tells me).<br />
<br />
Sam, I know that you have so many feelings in your heart<br />
for her. I love her too.<br />
<br />
You do?<br />
<br />
Of course. Without her there would be no you,<br />
and no you and me.<br />
I wouldn't be a mommy, you wouldn't be you.<br />
<br />
I love her more then I love you.<br />
<br />
It may feel like that sometimes.<br />
But the thing about love<br />
is you can love more then one person at a time.<br />
<br />
Like I love you and Marcel and her?<br />
<br />
Yes.<br />
<br />
Can you hold me in front of the Christmas tree now?<br />
I need a cuddle.<br />
<br />
Me too.<br />
<br />
Marcel needs a cuddle too! he screams.<br />
<br />
***<br />
A little back story:<br />
Last night Sam's birth mother texted me to ask<br />
what Sam wanted for his birthday which is approaching.<br />
I had told him she had asked.<br />
I had asked him what he wanted me to suggest.<br />
We brainstormed, and I wrote her back.<br />
<br />
Then this evening two of my friends-both adopted<br />
were over for dinner.<br />
Sam knows their stories. <br />
He wanted to know why I wasn't adopted too.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
If these conversations are this hard at four, imagine fourteen.Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-55586398889801779302009-12-06T22:08:00.004-05:002009-12-07T07:00:40.468-05:00Weekend Vignettes-On the Lighter Side<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguNzTwOsunvIRFI0TlsXGE905_IguDDjLAmEPwc0k1GJuKtTrXGZmSLP5-vF9QjejZ4MYhhdccTepPWj6xOhqRAyYSM-Pq6om0-7F7kUDS_shGVRb5JqaXH-EB6dzYlUaU2JtUqZuAPi8/s1600-h/IMG_0057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguNzTwOsunvIRFI0TlsXGE905_IguDDjLAmEPwc0k1GJuKtTrXGZmSLP5-vF9QjejZ4MYhhdccTepPWj6xOhqRAyYSM-Pq6om0-7F7kUDS_shGVRb5JqaXH-EB6dzYlUaU2JtUqZuAPi8/s400/IMG_0057.JPG" /></a>Marcel on seeing the significant snow fall upon waking;<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Mom?! Who put all that play dough on the cars?</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">On our economics situation after I say I didn't get yogurt this week:<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam<i>: Are we poor?</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: Not in the important things, like friendships, love, having our<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">health, a roof over our..<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam:<i> But Mom, yogurt <b>is</b> important.</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">On our way back from our monthly transracial family/potluck gathering: <br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam: Mom were you the only not brown skinned person there?<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: Uhm, no, there was so and so there, why?<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam: It's OK if you are the only one that looks like you,<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">because I have friends who look like me. And so can<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">you and Marcel.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: Thanks for that reassurance Sam.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam: But, maybe you should cut all his hair off next time so he<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">can look a little bit more like me.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: No! His hair is magnificent, and so is yours.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sam: I am growing an Afro mom, so I can be in the Jackson 5.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: Marcel what are you playing with?<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Marcel: Mom you know this is a train.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Me: Right.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Marcel: Not <i>right</i> mom. Say; Yupadoodle Mr. Noodle. OK?<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">+++<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I lay down next to Marcel singing <i>Summer Time</i> for the fifth<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">time tonight, with Sam chiming in at the end from the top bunk<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">and I don't much mind how imperfect I am.<br />
(Picture above is in the Nana's bed two summer's ago-<br />
inspired by the topic--and who doesn't love a sleeping <i>babies</i> pic?)<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
At the end where the song goes;<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Until that day nothing is going to harm you,</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>With your mama and ________________ standing by</i>,<br />
we insert the names of everyone in our lives who we love, cherish etc.<br />
It is the closest thing to a family ritual we have!<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We also edit the beginning --to the Single Parent friendly version:<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Summertime where the living is easy-</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>fish are jumping and the cotton is high.</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Your <b>mama's rich</b> and your <b>mama's good looking</b>..</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
or<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Your mama's rich, and your uncle's funny/good/not looking...</i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">+++<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">With the newly strung lights twinkling in the next room <br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">reflected in Marcel's deeply conditioned and glistening hair, <br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Chopin by request (Jackson 5 not allowed at night night time)<br />
tucking them both in softly around the edges<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">their deep breaths descending into sleep<br />
I inhale our combined strength.<br />
</div><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">+++<br />
A final Sunday request: What do you want to know?<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I am soliciting feedback, or suggestions for blog topics.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Email me at: mamacandtheboys@gmail.com with <i>anything </i><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">you'd like to see tackled here. I'm game. <br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I'm eager to know if there is anything you've always wondered<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">what my approach or take or experience with is or isn't.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Let's have it!<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To more vignettes from the lighter side!<br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Have a great week, Mama C <br />
</div>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259496899938943598.post-9221935858162436052009-12-05T14:40:00.008-05:002009-12-06T06:25:52.935-05:00Stella Luna Lands a Letdown<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Sitting in the auditorium I notice</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">first the lack of color around us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">One biracial father, one other adoptee.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Including my family, that makes four</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">out of say, three hundred.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My first response is not dread it's curiousity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Why aren't there more, OK <i>any</i> families of color here?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>Here</i> being a public school auditorium just outside of town.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">What is the cultural difference in entertainment value</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">that is of little or no interest to families of color here?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">What is it about children's theater that holds no appeal?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Or was it how it was advertised? Or to whom?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Where could I go on a Saturday afternoon </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">and see another or other demographic?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then when the play starts, the dread sets in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">All white cast of four from Toronto.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Two men, two women. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">They sing, they dance, they exude.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">They manipulate the puppets, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">and they attempt to captivate the all white audience.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijDSdG25NB5Zzq8-8RurPHal8cGgAzWZSUFtClg1huwDaIc8AIzClrFX68J_0PL6DAKYKXRORZTRyC2RsM9KoxfAsY4vGcsw1UeiEymAjEoAHWbgHP_QOeCVl5F2FT7dyyrvg_jAYZ5U/s1600-h/images-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijDSdG25NB5Zzq8-8RurPHal8cGgAzWZSUFtClg1huwDaIc8AIzClrFX68J_0PL6DAKYKXRORZTRyC2RsM9KoxfAsY4vGcsw1UeiEymAjEoAHWbgHP_QOeCVl5F2FT7dyyrvg_jAYZ5U/s400/images-3.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then the content unfolds igniting the dread like a pile</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">of dried leaves, crackling and swirling around me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An accidentally abandoned </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">baby fruit bat "adopted" by his bird friends is forced </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">to deny all that he knows </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">to survive in this new family's home.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">He eats bugs instead of fruit,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Sleeps upright and by day so his new mother </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">doesn't kick him out.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">She <i>threatened </i>once.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">He calls himself clumsy, and flies away in shame.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Where he is happily reunited with his real mom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Bye bye bird family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My biological family has saved me now.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">With Marcel on my lap laughing, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">and Sam three seats away next to his friend</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">with a serious and distant look on his face.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">What is his interpretation? How will I ever know? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">To be a transracial adoptive parent is a constant</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">unending stream of messages that require </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">interpretation, mitigation, and action.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Like a fruit bat, I just want to hang upside down </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">sometimes and let that be enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Writing this blog, and knowing that my readers</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">can see me hanging here, is so very often </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">the <i>enough</i> that I need. Thank you.<br />
</span>Mama Chttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10000640021795531897noreply@blogger.com2