Monday, August 24, 2009


If I were a child, she said, I would want to hear how I was adored, and cherished, and grabbed up the moment my mother first laid eyes on me.

I listened carefully.

Retell the story, she said, and let him know that he was not placed in your arms gently.

I listened and recast the moment in my own memory--dispelling the doubt and the fear I had, replacing it with an image of an eager and brightly lit me, bursting into her room, and scooping him up, tight to my heart in a whirlwind with no doubt between us.

And I have.

Retold the story to Sam many times since I met with the therapist a few weeks ago.

And it seems to be grounding us both.

I have just ordered Holly Van Gulden's Learning the Dance of Attachment ( at a friend/adoptive mother's strong suggestion. I will share my findings here, when I have read it.

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