Monday, September 14, 2009

Of note...

Stealing a few minutes at 3 a.m.
The beginning of the new school year is just like that.
The blog calls to me in a voice overshadowed
by the seventy or so other voices
that land every September in bold force into my orbit
with a volume I am never quite prepared for.

A stellar landing though.
With NASA like ease and precision
we managed to arrive in the school year
with nary a bump on Fall's solid ground.
The family was ready.
I take full credit for this one.

Of note: Sam's return to the barbershop
and my refusal to let him be cut
by anyone other then our barber
even though two seats sat open.
As far as barbershop etiquette goes
I can tell you that I stood about ten feet tall telling the owner
he'd like to wait.


You were too rough on him last time.
You made him cry.
It took us a year to come back.

You could almost hear the lollipops in the basket saying;
No she didn't just tell him that.

Sam rested his forehead on my shoulder.

The other barbers looking from me to the owner with eyes wide and wider.

And then the most amazing thing,
besides me finding my mama bear in the middle of barbershop
where few mama bears even ever dare to go-
was his response-

kneeling down in front of us both
the man who keeps a baseball bat under his mirror that
is not meant for hitting leather
says I'm sorry Sam.
I didn't mean to upset you man.

Talk about rising to an occasion.

When we left
Sam says Mom I look good.
I like it there.

Oh yeah, how come?

I don't know

Is it because you look like everyone in there?

Yeah. And they cut my hair and it looks good.

I do too, I tell him.
But I didn't used to.

How come?

Because now I feel like they know me Sam, and don't mind it
I come in the door too.
They like us both now, not just you.

Running for the playground, looking so good
despite the unruly mopped little brother running after him
I can tell Sam knows exactly what I mean.


Also of note-the Adoptive Families September/October issue
is now at the store(s).
Let me know how you liked it if you saw it.
Let me know if that is what brought you to this blog.
(See link to the right. And if you click on the "home"
button once you get there-you may eventually see the actual piece on line.)

Hip Mama Magazine-issue 44: Creativity
is carrying two poems

and a photo. Due out in a few weeks too.

Of note:
Sam's first official, uniformed, coached, and refereed soccer game
(and I use all the above terms as they are intended in the Under Six league)
was a definitive WIN to him.
And me, in my soccer mom debut.

I have that kid.
I have the one who scores three goals, in ten minutes.
I have the kid who knows which direction to dribble
and knows how to dribble.
I have the kid who makes the sport
look like butter melting on hot early September sweet corn.
Yes I am the mother of that kid.

And he has the mother who hollers, and claps,

and jumps a few inches form the ground when she does.
And he has the mother who directs him to thank the coach
after the game (so she can hear the coach say
in a British accent for added impact)
Lad, you are really switched on.
If you keep working this hard
you'll be really really good at this game.

I am the mother who sees herself at her son's gold medal ceremony-
a little prematurely.

Of note:
My remembering to find my way to yes
as the therapist suggested and what a remarkable difference it has made:

Sam: Can I have a popsicle?
Me: Yes, you can have one after dinner.
Sam returns to the train table.

What is unremarkable here-the conflict.

What is remarkable here-the lack of conflict.

That exchange used to take minutes.
I would say "No you can't have a popsicle it is dinner time."
and he would say...
Why can't I-It's not fair-Last week I-You said I-Just one please-At Grammy's I-Please-
I said please-My brother got one when he was sick...

Or something like that.

Now I don't engage in that.

And it took a week or so to get it right
to reset the stage for positive interaction
instead of the NO reaction.
And look at all the space it creates on the Sammy-Mommy scene.
We find so much more ease together in the YES.

Of note: I am dating still.
And when I asked him if it is daunting to date a woman
with two young kids

(who he met briefly once,
and for a long while we'll just leave it at that)

he said Yes, shouldn't it?
and But you are a package deal and I know that.
How Librarian a response.
(As in a Libra, albeit one who is very bookish and cute.)
The cast iron medley of roasted vegetables,
and apple fritter he cooked were notable too.
Flavored just so with lingering lines like;
Just so lucky to have met you.

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