A Mother of Another Color*

If I am not a Black Mother
and I am not a mother to white children
does that make me grey?

Or would a Grey Mommy
connote a mother of a certain age range
that I may be approaching
in strands, but am not there yet.

A Mocha Mommy is a support group
for stay at home mothers of color
so that does not describe me either,
though it certainly describes an aspiration
to be at home all day and write about
the mocha mom in me.

Chameleon Mom
might be closer to the truth
with all the colors I wear
navigating from here-our blended family home
Out into the so-much-to-explain in the world out there.

Explain to the educator how
a mother
of a child of color surrounded in a room
of white teachers
may not feel as at ease
understood
or seen
as the well intentioned
intentional gathering might think
she should.

Explain to the manager of the grocery store
that although he may offer me
a hundred hair care options
it is my children's hair for whom I inquire.
Handing him the bottle of Mixed Chicks Shampoo**
I tell him that I would appreciate it if this product
could be carried too.
And not on an end cap, I add.
End cap feels like an afterthought to me- wouldn't you agree?

Explain the heaviness in my breath
as my morning feet slide
into the soft green slippers
with the semi mushed pom-poms.
That I have been turned inside out
from the birth of my first born son
grabbed up and into my arms
in a hospital in North Carolina
as I sat precariously on the edge of her bed
on the edge of instant motherhood
on the edge of other motherhood
on the edge of our son's thirty-six hour life

and shed.

My understanding
or lack there of.

Being a mother of any
color.


*Dedicated to Our E, who brought me much needed blog clarity and kudos last night. Thank you.

** Mixed Chicks hair products-link to come--check them out on the web